T'was the Night Before Christmas: Shark Edition

Posted on December 16, 2015
Written by: Samantha Whitcraft

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T’was the night before Christmas, when all through the seas
All the creatures were swimming, at peace and at ease.
The finners at dock, not catching a thing,
A sea shanty of yore instead did they sing.

Children everywhere nestled snug in their beds,
Visions of healthy reefs swirled in their heads.
And Shark Savers everywhere in their Shark Savers’ gear
Headed to the ocean to see if sharks might be near.

When out on the waters there arose such a clatter,
We donned our dive-gear to check on the matter.
Away to the reef we swam in a flash,
And spied a habitat, devoid of all trash!

Moon on the crests of the rippling waves
Gave the lustre of mid-day to animals saved.
When, what to our wondering eyes should we find,
But a magical ship, surrounded by marine life, all kinds.

With a little old diver, so lively and quick,
We knew in a moment it must be St Nick.
More rapid than tunas his escorts they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Thresher! now, Mako! now, Spinner and White Tip!
On, Tiger! On, Silky! on, Dusky and Black Tip!
To the top of the sea! to the nearest sea-wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As wild waves that before the wild hurricane flail,
When met with an obstacle, they set a broad sail.
So across the seven seas the entourage flew,
With the ship full of hope, and St Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, we heard in the air
The splashing and leaping of each shark that was there.
As we surfaced to see, and looked all around,
Onto the bowsprit, St Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in kelp, from his feet to his dome,
And his clothes were glistening with splashes of sea-foam.
A bundle of tools he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a sailor, just opening his pack.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! Full of mischievous scheme!
His cheeks were like roses, his face from a dream!
His droll little mouth was smiling so wide,
The beard of his chin neatly braided each side.

A dive knife he held tight in his teeth,
Wrapped in seaweed like a small Christmas wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!

He was chubby and plump, more pirate than elf,
And he laughed when he saw us, in spite of himself!
A wink of his eye and a tilt of his head,
Soon gave us to know we had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Cutting nets and long-lines with a quick, final jerk.
Then raised his arms in a victory pose,
And giving a nod, up to the ocean surface he rose!

He sprang to his ship, then to the sharks gave a cheer,
And away they all swam, finally free, without any fear.
But we heard him exclaim, ‘ere he sailed out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a safe-night!"

 

Author of this shark-y parody: Samantha Whitcraft
Santa shark image (sans photoshopped Santa hat): Mary O'Malley

According to Wikipedia, the poem, A Visit from St. Nicholas, was first published anonymously in 1823 and generally attributed to Clement Clarke Moore, although the claim has also been made that it was written by Henry Livingston, Jr.

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